The Journey Of Fear Reflection and Story

The Journey Of Fear

L.I. : To deliberately use language features such as rhetorical questions and metaphors

L.I. : Attempts to use complex punctuation such as semi colon, colons, brackets and ellipses to enhance meaning

L.I.: Organises ideas within paragraphs in order to develop ideas logically, (Evidence at bottom of the pages).

L.I.: Uses sophisticated vocabulary relevant to the purpose and audience

L.I.: Changes tense within a text for effect, (I did this in the first paragraph, it was present and the story is in past, the end is in present too)

L.I:To proof read for sense and for effect

The Journey Of Fear

Have you ever heard  Ed Sheeran? Then you would have heard his voice echoing and marvelled at his excellence!! Well, then you should hear a young boy called Jamie. He is always singing in any room when he is alone and he sounds exactly like Ed Sheeran. This boy lives in NZ in a town called Albany. Jamie is tall with glowing bright, golden hair swaying down to cover his eyes; he tucks himself away from anything or anyone. His voice is marvellous as he tones beautifully. But the one big problem with Jamie is that he is hesitant and afraid and shatters like an ice cube hitting the ground whenever it comes to singing in front of even 1 person!

Because of this he is completely unknown for his remarkable talent.

It was a sunny and pleasant day in the town of Albany as Jamie was eating his soggy weetbix on the dining table. Jamie sighed, “Mum!! Can I please have new weet-bix?” Jamie stared down at his soggy weet bix and heard his mother's reply,

“Jamie!! Come on, I told you to get out of bed but you wouldn’t and that’s what you get... your weet-bix go all soggy!!”

Jamie whined, “MUM!! You know I’m extremely shy and I don’t like getting up for school on an occasional day like this! Mum my teacher told me she has critical news for me!!”

“Yes, yes yes!!” Jamie’s mum sighed. Jamie got on with eating his weet-bix and strolled down the road to his school; he attended Browns Bay school, (a school that was nearby Jamie’s house) and was a year 6. He was feeling concerned as his teacher had told him yesterday she had critical news for Jamie!! His tummy didn’t feel so good; Jamie’s tummy was a cement mixer of distaster… As Jamie plodded through the creaky school gates he spotted his friend Max.

“Max!!” Jamie shouted in excitement.

Max replied anxiously, “Ahhh, Jamie, I have news!!”

“WHAT!!” Jamie yelled.

Max sighed, “Well Jamie, I have the talent show slips that came out yesterday… and it says, everyone must perform a piece for the principal at least 30 seconds!!” Suddenly Jamie vomited orange carrot stew, it oozed out everywhere on the school path!! What was Jamie to do?

As Jamie prepared for the first audition, he was shaking even telling his mum what song he would sing. Jamie felt tragically nervous. He realised he was going to have to start slowly to build up confidence!!

Slowly the time came around: the talent show auditions. Jamie was building up his confidence over a long time; now he was able to actually perform to his mother. The hipster song Jamie chose to sing was ‘Over the Castle on the Hill’ by his all time favourite singer (Ed Sheeran). He loved this song as it got him into his own personal jammy groove and he was like a dancing giraffe. But Jamie just didn’t have to perform in front of one person; he had to perform in front an important pers- the grumpy and stressed out principal (Mr. Kadett). Mr Kadett always had a sullen scowl on his face and had a deep husky growl. Jamie was agitated and was not feeling very good!!

A few days passed and it was time for the first audition, Jamie felt he was ready to belt out a tuneful song but he felt still so nervous. The other confident kids who were very prepared all were laughing and joking while waiting in line. Jamie, just sighed and looked very frightened as he was called to audition. Apprehensively shaking he chattered his teeth constantly and strolled slowly to Mr. Kadett’s room to sing. As Jamie finally walked up 4 steps (it took him about 5 minutes), he lunged to the decorated X, which was put down right in the middle of Mr. Kadetts smelly and rickety office. Mr Kadett whispered loudly,

“When you’re ready buddy!!” Jamie sighed and a squeak came blurting out of his mouth. He gulped, his tummy was tense and he decided to start!!

“Over the Castle on the Hill!!” Jamie tuned. The time passed very slowly in Jamie’s mind; he did an amazing job!!

Mr. Kadett, muttered, “Well Done!! But I will decide finalist by tomorrow!! See ya!” Jamie tramped sluggishly back to his art class.

That night Jamie was twisting and turning in bed, he was hoping and praying miserably that he would not be selected to be a finalist. But if he did get in he would just have to push through the terrible  pain. For Jamie just doing the audition was bad enough!!!

The next day Jamie knew it would not be any ordinary day. Jamie again plodded to school feeling the urge of nerves just bubbling inside of him. He could just tell there would be another surprise. Once again Jamie saw Max lumbering over to him, his face was popping like a balloon!! Now Jamie knew something was up; he was positive!! Max yelped, “Yes!! Buddy!! Guess what!!”

Jamie sighed dramatically, “I got selected didn’t I!!”

Max yelled louder than ever, “YES, BUDDY. YES!!” Max’s excitement dropped and he saw Jamie looked bitter. “Max, you see I am too nervous!!” Max tried all day to encourage Jamie, he used all the tricks he knew; it just didn’t work. He knew something this bad must have been a very serious matter!!! Jamie moseyed casually home that day and was feeling a surge of  nerves and fear; his mother felt deeply for him and she tried harder than ever to cheer him up, this matter was just too strong to fix; the only person who was strong enough to fix it is Jamie!! Gradually the week passed and Jamie decided, on Friday, to just push through the miserable pain and to try his best to practice!! Jamie practiced hard and pushed himself to his limit. The effort Jamie had put into training was remarkable and it  probably would give him an advantage on the day of the talent show; if he was brave enough to perform…

Rapidly, the year moved on and everybody was revving up for a great and spectacular performance from the 12 children selected for the finals!! Jamie was ready, but still just feeling the same nerves lurking inside of him. The big and exciting day for the audience had finally come… but this day for Jamie was probably the most terrifying day of his life. Jamie strolled to school that day and yes, again, saw Max, a sprinting cheetah coming to let Jamie know something!!
“Jamie, hey buddy!!” Max yelped.

“Max, ok what’s up!!” Jamie muttered!!

“Yeah, ok, ahh, you’re lucky will be performing last-the talent show will be at morning block!” Max sighed.

“That ok!!” Jamie whispered.

Jamie and Max both hiked to the hall (where the talent show was going to be on). The twosome both went different ways; Jamie headed towards the bathroom to change into his stunning, smart outfit, Max just strolled into the hall to sit with his class!! Jamie waited painfully for the whole morning and before he knew he was up next. He was backstage as he was ready to walk up onto the big daunting stage. Jamie’s mum had an excitement jumping out of her. Mr. Kadett yelled, “Now can we please have Jamie to the stage to sing ‘Over the Castle on the Hill’ please!!” Jamie strolled 3 sudden steps and stopped… “Jamie come now!!!” Mr. Kadett screamed. Jamie took a huge deep breath… “Jamie you know what we do when people don’t come to stage!! We do the countdown!!” Mr. Kadett threatened!! “10, 9, 8!!” Mr Kadett swore. Max started to chant in the audience. “JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE!!” Max yelped!!

The school joined in enthusiastically, “JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE!!” The intense and deafening chanting was packing the hall with echoing sound. A vibe of excitement was bubbling inside of him; he was alive!! He realised there was nothing to be afraid of as the nest of butterflies inside of his tummy swarming around had all floated away. If the audience were wanting him to sing he would just do have to do it!! What Jamie called the stage of grief invited him along, Jamie leapt like a lion on to the squeaky and bendy stage, Jamie found a spot in the middle. Jamie was a tuneful nightingale as he felt like a million dollars. Singing was Jamie’s life and the Journey of fear taught him to be a more brave. Jamie was expressing him voice amazingly as he came to the end of the song and Mr. Kadett was making him final decision.

Soon Mr. Kadett strolled creepily to the stage to announce the top places (it took Mr. Kadett about 20 minutes to decide). Now that Jamie was more brave and could release his voice he was feeling more apprehensive than ever!! The nesting butterflies were welcomed back inside him!!

Mr. Kadett said with a straight and deep voice… “I have made my decision!!” “Ok here we go… Third place goes to: ‘The Dancing Gang!!’ who did an amazing dance with vibing moves!!” The crowd thundered with noise and all the girls in the Dancing Gang started to squeal in excitement!! “Now… Second place goes to... drumroll please: ‘The Rapping Boys!!”’ The crowd only lightly clapped for these boys as the crowd didn’t particularly like this act!! Mr. Kadett intimidated the audience as he yelled, “And now what we have been waiting for the winner of Browns Bay’s talent show!!! Drumroll…: ‘Jamie’ the boy who sang ‘Over the Castle On the Hill’!!” Jamie lumbered up to the stage to collect the glowing trophy Sprinting off the stage Jamie gave his mum a massive hug!! Jamie would remember this time for his whole life and would adore the trophy he was given.

Have you ever heard of Jamie Quinn? Well you will do soon because he has just won New Zealand’s Got Talent and is set to release his first single hit later this year. Life is a rollercoaster with many vertical drops, upside down flips, and calm parts which spread relief!! Don’t friends and their encouragement help you along those horrible parts and journeys of fear in life?

The End

Reflection

I think I did a brilliant job with my complex punctuation such as semi colons, colons and ellipses. 

From the piece of writing I learnt how to use semi  colons and change the tense for effect.

What I found difficult was when I had to find places to use brackets and colons; I had bit more of a look and found a few places to use them.

What I need to next is to start changing the tense for effect a little bit more because I only used it twice.